You can’t have physical intimacy without having a sense of emotional intimacy.Īccording to Wachtel, some people feel bonded and connected through physicality, while others prefer conversation. When you want to initiate talk about sex: What would you say is the best part of dating/being friends with you?.What would you say is the best part of dating/being friends with me?.What’s the fondest memory you have of us?.What can I do to make you feel more loved?.What would you say is my love language?.Talking these prompts out, no matter how much you think the other knows it, “reinforces the strength of the relationship," she adds. Fleming says they help with “focusing on gratitude and the practice of appreciation.” These conversations are good reminders of the love between friends or partners despite the chaos of everyday life. Conversation Starters To Rekindle Your Flame.Having sentimental conversations allow people to dissect what it is about the other that brings so much joy into their life. What’s something you want to ask me but are afraid?.What are your siblings like/What is being an only child like?.What is your role in your friend group?.What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to another person, and do you regret it?.What would be the title of your memoir?.
These are the questions that will help you to "grow closer and feel more connected to what our partner needs," explains Wachtel. Learning about each other’s uniqueness will ultimately unite you. Don’t assume that the other experiences the world in the same way you do. To understand your partner or friend as an individual, it is essential to acknowledge the potential differences between you two. Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play When you're ready to get past the surface level: Want to add more ice-breakers to your conversation arsenal? Here's a few fun examples.
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What movie or TV character do you think you’re most like?.What’s something that always cheers you up?.If you could live anywhere, where would you live?.What is the best trip you’ve ever taken?.What three words would you use to describe yourself?.If you could have any other job in the world, what would it be and why?.How would your closest friends describe you?.These prompts are a great way to suss out personal growth. "You can hear in somebody’s narrative about how they talk about their family or previous partners whether or not they can own any of what was their contribution to what didn’t work in that relationship and if that’s something that they’ve thought about and worked on," she says. 255 Questions To Ask To Get To Know Someoneįleming recommends having someone talk about their former relationships and their family, paying close attention to their role and accountability.“Vulnerability creates more empathy for your partner and that then creates the intimacy and the sense of connection,” says Wachtel. To leave behind the surface levels of relationships, two people must show each other vulnerability. To break out of this cycle and further bond, you have to ask different questions. As Wachtel describes it, people often talk in circles, having the same conversations over and over again. The process of connecting is all about someone's willingness to be truly seen, which comes from sharing our most embarrassing, challenging, and often most difficult moments.Įven getting closer to someone you already feel attached to, like your best friend or long-term partner, can get tricky.
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Sharing from the place of vulnerability is how to truly get to know someone, she adds. Megan Fleming, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. “The role of the deep conversation is to get beyond the superficial,” says Dr. When it comes to forming a connection, it pays off to stray away from the traditional ice breakers and ask the unexpected. Even a moment of humiliation, like spilling red wine on the person next to you, can help two people strike a kinship. People bond in different ways over different things-perhaps a connection is formed over similar music taste or an obvious commonality, such as a shared workplace or hometown. When it comes to getting someone to open up, picking up on their specific interests and needs is crucial. This is partly because everyone has their own unique needs, says Rachel Moheban Wachtel, LCSW, a licensed therapist who specializes in couples and marriage counseling. Whether you’ve known them for years or a few hours, cracking someone’s shell isn't necessarily easy.
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